Episode 27 Script (On Accidents)

Dr. Truscot-The Health Chronicles (Episode 27) On Accidents (Script)
Cast: (In=In episode/ Not=Not in episode)

Dr. Truscot/In
Dr. Dontrust/In
Dr. Mister/In
Professor Sausage/In
Smitty Johnson/In
Banks/Not
Doctor V/Not
Harvy Reynol/In

CA: Series opening.

CA: Professor Sausage is shown walking around his home, holding the same clothes in his hands from the previous episode.

CA: Professor Sausage is shown getting a glass of milk.

CA: He is now shown drinking the milk, spilling some of it on himself.

CA: The cup is shown, being pushed onto the table, empty.

CA: He is shown walking into another room, holding the clothes still.

CA: He sits down on a couch, smelling the clothes.

Professor Sausage: Me clothes! (rubs them on his face again)

CA: Dr. Mister is shown, outside of his house, banging on his front door.

Dr. Mister: Sausage! Let me in already! I have been stuck out here for more than one episode!

CA: Dr. Mister looks in his house’s window from the outside, seeing Professor Sausage is inside, making faces at him.

Dr. Mister: (sarcastic) Ha-ha! Very funny! Now let me in!

CA: Professor Sausage starts laughing crazily inside, and trips over a chair, falling onto the ground, becoming unconscious.

CA: Dr. Mister is shown looking in the window, with Professor Sausage knocked out on the ground.

CA: Dr. Mister turns to look at the camera, pushing his hand through his hair.

Dr. Mister: (quietly to himself) Oh my word…

CA: Dr. Truscot is shown running to his home quickly.

CA: He gets inside the house, trips and falls and then gets up again, still running up stairs.

CA: He ends up in his office after rushing through the door and slamming it.

Dr. Truscot: Crap, where is that receptionist when you need him?

CA: He runs up to his computer.

Computer: Welcome! You’ve Got Mail!

CA: He reads over a letter.

Dr. Truscot: Just as I feared! Smitty never takes any of his work seriously!

CA: He grabs a phone and dials a number.

Dr. Truscot: Hey, Alfred, I need you for today’s episode! Oh, and I also need Smitty! (pauses) Yeah, Smitty didn’t mention that Dr. Mister has left multiple messages for us, saying that he has been locked out of his home! (pauses) Of course I know Professor Sausage is crazy! Yes… I also know Smitty doesn’t ever do his work properly… Well, he doesn’t get paid. He does his work for free. (pauses) Yes, work he never does… Oh, just stop gloating here and help me start up the show! (pauses) What is today’s episode on? What do you mean what is today’s show about? You should know! You are my assistant! (pauses) You seriously don’t know? Wow.

CA: Dr. Dontrust is shown sitting down, on his phone, holding up a remote, flipping through channels on his television.

Dr. Dontrust: Sooo, what’s it on? I don’t really tend to pay attention.

Dr. Truscot: It is on accidents Dontrust! On Accidents!

Dr. Dontrust: Haven’t we already done that before?

Dr. Truscot: Nooo, our lives are just filled up of accidents which makes it seem like we have discussed this topic before.

CA: Dr. Dontrust is leaning backwards on his chair.

Dr. Dontrust: Our lives aren’t filled up on accidents Truscot! Where in the blazes did that come from?

CA: He leans back to far and falls to the ground.

CA: Dr. Truscot is shown.

Dr. Truscot: Dontrust? (moves phone away from ear) He hung up. Hmph. Some nerve he has.

CA: The room Dr. Dontrust was in is shown.

Dr. Dontrust: Is someone there? (pauses) I think I need to see my doctor!

CA: Dr. Truscot is shown putting his phone away.

Dr. Truscot: Oh well, now all I need is an unlucky receptionist who is obsessive over an inanimate object.

CA: Smitty is shown walking in the room.

Dr. Truscot: Hey Smitty, have you heard yet what today’s episodes on? (smiles evily)

CA: Smitty looks over at Dr. Truscot oddly.

CA: A road is shown.

CA: Blind Jeremy walks onto the road.

Blind Jeremy: I need food. Tree's aren't food.

CA: Pokes around on the ground and trips on a can on the ground.

CA: He lands on the ground and just stays there like that for a few seconds.

CA: Dr. Truscot is shown outside, sitting down while you hear an ambulance in the distance.

Dr. Truscot: Ambulances are so loud these days! I wonder where they are going anyways?

CA: Dr. Truscot turns around.

Dr. Truscot: Since today’s episode is about accidents, I have decided to let Smitty Johnson be our lab rat for the day! He will go through multiple challenges to demonstrate accidents to us all, right now!

CA: Harvy walks onto the screen.

Harvy: Don’t you think you are being a little too harsh on him? He could get really hurt.

Dr. Truscot: Nah, he will be fine! Oh and by any chance, do you know what life insurance carrier he has?

CA: Harvy stares at Dr. Truscot, eventually walking away.

Harvy: Wow, what an idiot... Well, time to go find that blasted stuffed teddy bear and figure out a way to destroy it!

Dr. Truscot: Well, on that pleasant note, let’s begin with today’s experiment!

CA: Smitty is shown walking along and tripping. Getting up and then tripping again.

CA: He is then shown walking into a tree and falling over.

CA: Smitty then is shown walking through trees and then having a branch hit him in the head.

CA: Smitty then falls over again and rolls down a hill.

CA: Dr. Truscot is shown again.

Dr. Truscot: Okay, while Smitty is being rushed to the emergency room, let’s find out what happened to Dr. Mister and Dr. Dontrust, shall we?

CA: He looks up to the sky.

Dr. Truscot: I thought for sure a memory bubble or something would appear. Eh, oh well! Instead of using cheesy Hollywood effects, let’s just go see what they are doing for real!

CA: Dr. Mister is shown, sitting on the ground (back to) his front door, whacking his head on the door.

CA: Dr. Dontrust is shown sitting down, looking at a catalog.

Dr. Dontrust: Oooh! I could so use a pair of those! I have always been in need of underwater socks! And they are only $79.99! Now, where did I put my credit card? (looks around)

CA: He scratches his head and then whistles, looking around mischievously, grabbing a random credit card and then dialing the number in the catalog.

Dr. Dontrust: Yes, I would like to inquire about ordering your underwater socks. (pauses) Credit or Debit? (looks at card) I believe I would like to pay with Credit! My name? Uh, it is Henry Truscot. (pauses) Yes, yes. Shipping address? I don’t feel comfortable giving that over the phone. (pauses) My social security number? Oh, sure! One sec!

CA: He places the phone on his shoulder and looks around.

CA: He grabs another card.

Dr. Dontrust: Okay, full name is Henry James Truscot, yes, Truscot is spelt with one T!

CA: Dr. Truscot is shown sitting down, drinking a cup of lemonade.

Dr. Truscot: So, that is about all there is to talk about today! So, I bid thee fare well! (sips from his lemonade cup) Lah… Sour.

CA: Smitty is now shown with multiple bandages and an ice back on his cheek.

Smitty: I don't like demonstrating accidents!

CA: Harvy walks onto the screen.

Harvy: Neither would I if I were in your shoes.

Smitty: Well you weren’t in my shoes! But you are welcome to give it a try!

Harvy: That’s okay Smitty, don’t get hasty!

CA: Smitty grabs Harvy and throws him down the hill.

CA: Harvy is shown screaming and rolling down the hill.

CA: Dr. Dontrust is shown.

Dr. Dontrust: Got the socks. Only problem is, I don’t know how to swim. (looks down at his feet)

CA: Series end.

CA: Dr. Mister is shown walking through a window into his house.

Dr. Mister: I’m finally back in! Woot!

CA: Professor Sausage sneaks up on Dr. Mister and scares Dr. Mister, forcing him to run back out through the window.

CA: Dr. Mister is outside again.

Dr. Mister: Crap! Let me in!

CA: End.