Episode 16 Script

Dr. Truscot-The Health Chronicles (Episode 16) On The Health of the Environment (Script)
Cast: (In=In episode/ Not=Not in episode)

Dr. Truscot/In
Dr. Dontrust/In
Professor Sausage/Not
Dr. Mister/Not
Banks/In
Doctor V/In
Smitty Johnson/In

CA: Series Opening.

CA: The sky is shown with a bird.

CA: A bird is shown.

CA: A lake is shown.

CA: Trees are shown.

CA: Ocean is shown with sunset.

Dr. Truscot: Earth, trees, plants, life, the enviornment!

CA: Dr. Truscot is shown reading something.

Dr. Truscot: Oh hi there!

CA: Dr. Truscot is shown outside looking at a tree.

Dr. Truscot: Ah, nature! Got to love it unless your some freak who hates anything alive. Let's move on!

CA: He is then shown attempting to climb a tree, but then it is shown he didn't make it up even a foot.

Dr. Truscot: Nature is wonderful, so while we discuss the health of the environment, we are talking about keeping the planet
alive and well!

Banks: I keep things clean. I have to, it is in my job description. In fact, I have my job description right here... (looks around)

Dr. Truscot: Uh, that is okay Banks. Please, don't read it...

Banks: Here it is... This is what it says and I quote... "You must clean and install stuff for this hospital. You must always be clean and do cleaning. You can't ever be sick or else be fired. You must not lose any limbs and if you do, contact a doctor. No, this is not a joke, if you lose a limb, contact a doctor and be clean about it. We don't want blood on any carpet. Sincerely the land lord."

Dr. Truscot: That was... enlightening. (off camera) Security?

Banks: I am bored, oh so bored. I need company in my life, but all I have is this ham...

Dr. Truscot: Here is what you should do to keep a healthy environment!

CA: Next to a trash can.

Dr. Truscot: So recycle!

CA: Next to a power switch.

Dr. Truscot: Don't waste electricity.

CA: Next to a sink.

Dr. Truscot: Or water.

CA: He is outside looking up.

CA: The sun blares down on him.

Dr. Truscot: My eyes!

CA: Dr. Dontrust is shown.

Dr. Dontrust: The environment you say? Well of course you want to destroy it! Just use an axe, kill, cut, skin, decapitate,
squint, jump, slice... well you get it.

CA: He is shown in front of a light.

Dr. Dontrust: Waste electricity!

CA: Shown in front of a barrel.

Dr. Dontrust: Don't recycle!

CA: Shown in front of a sink.

Dr. Dontrust: Waste water!

CA: Smitty is shown.

Smitty: Want to have lunch, dinner, breakfast, brunch and scrunch together Alfred?

Dr. Dontrust: How did you know my name was Alfred? (looks at screen) You told him, didn't you?

Smitty: Oh, sorry. That is Marsha's boyfriend.

Dr. Dontrust: Who is Marsha?

Smitty: My stuffed teddy bear.

Dr. Dontrust: I see...

Smitty: I love her.

Dr. Dontrust: My whole life is a lie.

Smitty: AHGAHGAHAGHA!

Dr. Dontrust: On the other hand, maybe we should take care of the wilderness and all living things... Dr. Truscot?

CA: Dr. Truscot is shown.

Dr. Truscot: Take care of the environment!

CA: Doctor V comes up behind Dr. Truscot.

Doctor V: What if I don't want to?

Dr. Truscot: Then I will beat you up like before.

Doctor V: I still resent that!

Dr. Truscot: As if I care.

Doctor V: Well, you should.

Dr. Truscot: Why?

Doctor V: I really don't have a reason.

Dr. Truscot: I see.

CA: Dr. Truscot hits him.

Doctor V: Ow!

CA: Series ending.

CA: Smitty is shown.

Smitty: Hey Alfred!

Banks: My job description was written on a napkin.