Episode 26 Script (On Germs)

Dr. Truscot-The Health Chronicles (Episode 26) On Germs (Script)
Cast: (In=In episode/ Not=Not in episode)

Dr. Truscot/In
Dr. Dontrust/In
Dr. Mister/In
Professor Sausage/In
Smitty Johnson/In
Banks/In
Doctor V/Not
Harvy Reynol/In

CA: Series opening.

CA: Dr. Dontrust’s house is shown.

CA: A room in his house is shown.

CA: You see Dr. Dontrust putting on extra clothes (oven mitts, body gear, helmet, baseball bat, etcetera) for protection, in different angles.

Dr. Dontrust: Time to kill some germs!

CA: Another room is shown.

CA: Dr. Dontrust walks in quietly, trying to be stealthy. He then trips and falls, getting up immediately.

CA: He continues to roam the room.

Dr. Dontrust: Well, there doesn’t appear to be any infiltration from germs in this room. Let’s move on!

CA: He slowly walks away, being overly cautious. He turns back to the camera and then turns around again, running into a wall and falling over.

Dr. Dontrust: I am okay! (raises up his hand, giving a thumbs down)

CA: Dr. Truscot is shown sitting down.

Dr. Truscot: Dr. Dontrust, don’t you think you are being a little too cautious?

CA: Dr. Dontrust is shown freaking out, searching different areas for germs.

Dr. Dontrust: My mother once told me when I was a little boy that you can never be too cautious! (swings bat around)

CA: Dr. Truscot is shown again.

Dr. Truscot: But, you don’t have any memory of your past before you met me and became my assistant after Dr. Mister left. So how would you know what your mother said to you?

CA: Dr. Dontrust whacks a pot, breaking it with his bat.

Dr. Dontrust: Good point. (scratches head) Who was that then that told me that if it wasn’t my darling mother? Hm, could have been my grandmother I suppose.

CA: Dr. Mister is shown, looking annoyed.

Dr. Mister: That was me who told you that! I am the one who said you can never be too cautious! And why did you think I was your mother?

Dr. Dontrust: Mommy, is that you? I need your help right now mommy! I need to kill all of these germs! (swings bat around)

CA: Dr. Mister puts his hand on his forehead and shakes his head silently.

CA: Dr. Truscot is shown.

Dr. Truscot: Why is it that the people I work with always get me so utterly confused?

CA: Blind Jeremy walks onto the screen behind Dr. Truscot petting a rock.

Blind Jeremy: Nice kitty. (struggles) Heavy kitty.

CA: Dr. Truscot turns around and watches Blind Jeremy and scratches his head.

CA: Banks is shown staring at the screen for about seven seconds, as depressing music is played in the background.

Banks: Isn’t the world such a (pauses and looks around) crappie place? All I have to look forward to is my time off from work! (starts to seem emotional) And it isn’t even that great! (lowers his head, starting to cry)

Dr. Truscot: I rest my case.

CA: Blind Jeremy is shown walking into Dr. Truscot and dropping the rock on his foot.

CA: Dr. Truscot starts screaming in pain and falls over eventually.

Blind Jeremy: I dropped the kitty! Henry, help me find her!

CA: Holds his hands forward and eventually falls over himself.

CA: Dr. Truscot walks outside to his house.

Dr. Truscot: Well, since we have a paranoid doctor, fearing for his life over germs, let’s talk today about germs, what they are and how they can affect you!

CA: Smitty is shown.

Smitty: Germs! Germs sounds like a bad word! (holds up Marsha) Don't worry Marsha, I will protect you from those filthy, despicable germs!

CA: Harvy walks onto the screen.

Harvy: Smitty, I see your therapy sessions didn't work out for you very well, now did they?

Smitty: All he used was big words like "noncoherent" and "misunderstanding"! Harvy, don't let me go back there! (looks around, then puts Marsha on his head, looking through her paws) He wants to help me he says, but he doesn't actually! It is just a ploy for more money!

Harvy: Smitty, you know you are rich, right? Your parents own a car dealership...

Smitty: Oh right... Well he wasn't much help either way.

Harvy: ...Right.

Smitty: Aghghaga! Germs! They have come to eat Marsha!

Harvy: Eat Marsha? Smitty, what exactly do you think germs are even?

Smitty: They are a bike gang with big fists that come from the moon and land in front of me to steal my Marsha from me with a bag of peanuts.

CA: Harvy stares at Smitty.

Harvy: Just as I suspected, you have absolutely no clue what they are...so you made up your own assumption.

Smitty: I don't know what that means, but I assume it has something to do with food?

Harvy: Sure, let's go with that and leave it at that.

CA: They turn the other direction and start walking away.

Harvy: Now Smitty, have you ever heard of these nice people who wear white jackets and come to your whereabouts with needles and nets?

Smitty: Do you mean Dr. Dontrust?

Harvy: Smitty, do me a favor. Breathe in and breathe out for me.

CA: Dr. Truscot is shown watching Harvy and Smitty leave his office.

Dr. Truscot: Well, that was odd. Am I really the only sane one here? Jeesh! (walks up stairs and then after a few seconds, falls down them) Ow!

CA: Dr. Truscot pulls out an ice pack.

Dr. Truscot: Well, on the bright side, we always have an extra ice pack in this office due to everyone needing them all the time.

CA: Pulls out a chair and sits down.

Dr. Truscot: Germs are nasty things that can make one sick.

CA: He walks into the living room.

Dr. Truscot: Germs can make people sick. For an example, if you sneezed on your hand without washing them and then handshake someone, you are spreading germs that could make others sick.

CA: He is now outside.

Dr. Trucot: So, if you are sick, you would be better off staying home and getting better, rather than going out to work or school, which could result in others getting sick by you passing your germs.

CA: He walks back to the summer office.

Dr. Truscot: But, if you have to go out, use hand sanitizer to kill off as many germs as possible. Just realize, depending on how bad your cold, flu or whatever it is you are suffering of, could affect others if you go out in public.

CA: Dr. Truscot sits down.

Dr. Truscot: So that is my brief summary of germs. To go into more detail, read a health related book on the topic! Or, go to school and study to become a doctor. Or you should consult your doctor to find out more details about germs, but realize if Dr. Dontrust is the doctor you consult in, you better do it fast or else face possible near-death experiences, infections, blury eyes, loss of breath or fungus.

CA: Dr. Mister is shown ironing.

Dr. Mister: Just going out on a limb here, but I have a feeling, that your last sentence was mostly incorrect.

Dr. Truscot: What makes you say that?

Dr. Mister: (stares at screen for a few seconds, then nods approvingly) Nothing… just forget about it. (turns back around and continues ironing, then begins to mumble the following sentences) What an idiot! Does he seriously believe people will study to become a doctor just to learn about germs or that people will die if they don’t consult their doctor first? (stops ironing) Then again, he was talking about Dr. Dontrust. (considers that, shrugs and goes back to ironing)

CA: Professor Sausage sneaks up on Dr. Mister without him knowing.

CA: Dr. Mister turns away from his clothes that he is ironing as Professor Sausage takes them and runs away.

CA: Dr. Mister turns back and notices his clothes are missing.

Dr. Mister: Where they go? I just finished washing them!

CA: A window is shown with Professor Sausage running away outside with the clothes, screaming woohoo.

Dr. Mister: SAUSAGE! (runs outside, holding the iron)

CA: He runs after him in the same shot that was taken for Professor Sausage, waving around the iron.

CA: Dr. Truscot is shown.

Dr. Truscot: Wow, this show has much to do about nothing.

CA: Dr. Dontrust is shown again, running away inside his home, stripping off the extra clothes he put on earlier while he runs.

Dr. Dontrust: Agh! The germs have gotten me! Somebody help! (runs outside into the street)

CA: Dr. Truscot is shown.

Dr. Truscot: I must say, I never could have imagined someone running away from germs. Heh. (he walks away back to his home office)

CA: He walks inside.

Intercom: Come in Matthew Banks, come to room 421 please, uh, we are In need of barf to clean up.

Dr. Truscot: Hey Banks, I think you should go take care of that.

CA: Banks is shown.

Banks: Yeah, yeah… (stands up, grabs a mop) My life sucks… (walks out of room)

CA: Harvy is shown sitting on a step, looking at Marsha.

CA: He looks over at Marsha.

Harvy: You know, it is actually quiet here without Smitty. You know Marsha, I sent him to his therapist again. I thought he could get some help from him.

CA: He looks back over at Marsha.

Harvy: Great, talking to a teddy bear. Wonderful. (turns head back to Marsha) I seriously need to get rid of you by episode 28. (pauses) At least I still have my sanity to be thankful for. (smiles)

CA: Dr. Truscot is shown sitting on grass, looking up to the sky.

Dr. Truscot: Just try not to worry about germs. Make sure you always wash your hands and try to be courteous to others when sick. For now, I am going to simply enjoy my day! (looks to the camera) So, leave already! Jeesh! Can’t I have some peace and quiet around here!

CA: Harvy runs onto the screen.

Harvy: Hey Truscot!

Dr. Truscot: Guess not (sighs)

Harvy: Do you have any suggestions as to how I could get rid of Marsha? I know we are mortal enemies since I am trying to kill you, so that I can take over the show, but this teddy is freaking me out!

Dr. Truscot: You were trying to kill me off so that you could take over this show?

Harvy: You didn’t know? Oh, uh, think fast Harvy! (pulls out a Trix and eats it) Crap, eating a Trix doesn’t give a minute to think! Okay, after I take over this show, I will be sure to sue them for those misleading commercials! Oh, talking to myself again. Right… Uh…

CA: He pulls out Marsha and waves hr paw at Truscot.

Harvy: Isn’t she cute?

CA: Dr. Truscot stares at him, speechless.

Harvy: So, do you have any suggestions of how I can get rid of her or not?

CA: Series End.

CA: Professor Sausage is shown running back inside the house.

CA: Professor Sausage locks the door on the inside.

CA: Dr. Mister is shown, with the iron, reaching the door, realizing it is locked, pulling at the knob.

CA: Professor Sausage is shown on the inside, laughing hysterically, while you see Dr. Mister pounding on the window from the outside.

Professor Sausage: My very own clothes!

CA: He starts rubbing the clothes on his face as Dr. Mister seems to be getting more furious by the second.

CA: Dr. Mister leaves the window and then comes back with a chainsaw, looking in at Professor Sausage whose still rubbing the clothes against his face.

CA: End.

hahahahaha, I love this script

Glad to hear it!