Episode 19 (On Allergies and The Departure of Banks)

Dr. Truscot-The Health Chronicles (Episode 19) On Allergies (Script)
Cast: (In=In episode/ Not=Not in episode)

Dr. Truscot/Hary Reynol:In
Dr. Dontrust/Impersonator Banks:In
Smitty Johnson:In
Dr. Mister:In (voice only)
Professor Sausage:In
Doctor V:Not


CA: Series opening.

CA: Trees are shown.

CA: The camera pans down and shows Smitty Johnson sitting on a step.

Smitty Johnson: Achoo!

CA: Camera pans out and shows Harvy passing over Kleenex.

Harvy: Bless you.

Smitty Johnson: Oh, thanks!

Harvy: No problem! I get allergies all the time myself.

Smitty Johnson: Oh, I am not allergic to anything, I just have the flu!

CA: Harvy looks at Smitty Johnson and slowly moves away from him.

CA: Dr. Truscot is shown next to a tree himself.

Dr. Truscot: Nature is a wonderful thing, but even wonderful things have their flaws. Nothing is perfect in this world, but that is okay. Nature brings out allergies when seasons change and many react to allergies in different ways. Some people don't even have allergies!

CA: Dr. Truscot is shown sitting down at a table.

Dr. Truscot: No, I am not talking about food allergies currently, I am talking about allergies related to nature such as pollen, mold, plants and so forth.

CA: Dr. Truscot is shown on a bridge.

Dr. Truscot: And no, you cannot be allergic to water and if you think that, call a therapist. Your body holds up to more than half the amount of water you take in. And not to forget to mention that babies are born usually around 75% of water as it is! So no one is allergic to water. Case closed.

CA: Dr. Truscot walks out of a forest.

Dr. Truscot: I personally have some allergies. For example, in the spring and in the fall, I usually get bloody noses. Nothing to worry about, it is all natural and millions get them every season!

CA: Dr. Truscot is shown laying down on a chair.

Dr. Truscot: Now I will give an example of how to handle a bloody nose properly. If you encounter a bloody nose, don't lean your head backwards. I know that is something many people do, but the reason why you shouldn't do that is because, then the blood can flow down your throat and trust me, it is uncomfortable.

CA: He leans backwards in the chair.

Dr. Truscot: So sit upwards like this, or I suppose you could also stand. However, don't lean backwards if sitting such as this— (his chair collapses and he falls) Ow... Crap, I hit my nose!

CA: Dr. Dontrust is shown.

Dr. Dontrust: As Dr. Truscot said, you should take heavy medication to avert your allergy symptoms! That way, if you take enough medication, you will get so drowsy that you can sleep for 48 hours at a time and miss work, school, breakfast, lunch, dinner and pretty much whatever you planned to do within that time!

CA: Dr. Dontrust is shown at a new location.

Dr. Dontrust: However, if you don't want to take any medication and give me no amusement whatsoever, then be like Banks. Boring and dull, yes, but he does have some logic. However, don't ever ask him for advice, never goes well for us.

CA: Banks is shown.

Banks: I told you last time Alfred—

CA: Dr. Dontrust is shown again.

Dr. Dontrust: Don't call me that.

CA: Banks is shown.

Banks: Dr. Dontrust, whatever your name is, I told you last time how to fix your bike, but you took my sarcastic suggestions instead of my real one!

Dr. Dontrust: What were we speaking about again?

Banks: I don't know, maybe that you took my stupid and fake suggestion!

Dr. Dontrust: So you admit that it was stupid? I couldn't agree more!

Banks: Why do I even speak to you? You don't take anything into reason! (sarcastic) Maybe you should go take your nasal allergy medication and go to sleep for 48 hours!

Dr. Dontrust: Great idea! Now where did I put my Claritin?

CA: Banks has his jaw drop open while he stares at the camera.

CA: Dr. Truscot is shown.

Dr. Truscot: Did I forget to mention that I am now experiencing a bloody nose? (sighs)

CA: Harvy is shown.

Harvy: Now what can I do to annoy those doctors? Think Harvy, think! Wait, I know!

CA: Smitty walks onto the screen.

Smitty: What you doing?

Harvy: Making an evil plan to annoy those doctors so that I can get my revenge by episode 22!

Smitty: Will there even be an episode 22?

Harvy: Yeah, in fact, I heard there was going to be 30 episodes of "The Health Chronicles".

Smitty: Oh, that sounds awesome! 30 episodes of awesomeness!

Harvy: Yeah, so anyways, I got to work on my plan to get revenge now.

Smitty: Revenge? Revenge for what?

Harvy: For letting Doctor V humiliate me and prove that I was an impostor!

Smitty: I don't think Dr. Truscot even knew Doctor V was searching for an impostor. None of us did...

Harvy: Well, I am also kind of bored, so I thought I would have some fun.

Smitty: Can I help then? I love fun!

Harvy: Uh, can you work with tools?

Smitty: Is a nail filer a tool?

CA: Smitty starts filing paper.

Harvy: No.

Smitty: Well then, I dunno. I can kind of work a computer, but I am not that great with it. Is that a tool?

Harvy: No.

CA: Smitty continues filing paper.

Harvy: On second thought, how about I use you as the bait.

Smitty: What does bait mean?

Harvy: Oh, never mind. Not important right now.

Smitty: Achoo!

Harvy: Seriously, take some medicine or something! I don't want to catch your icky flu!

Smitty: But I have been taking medicine! It isn't working though! (cries)

Harvy: (Smitty continues to cry) Okay then, uh, now, I am going to go work on my evil plan to take over the show. Oh yeah, if I don't speak to you over the course of the next week, it is because I am busy, not waiting for you to get over your flu or secretly ignoring you or anything like that.

Smitty: Okay, have fun!

Harvy: Yeah... bye.

CA: Smitty continues to file paper and then screams.

CA: Dr. Truscot is shown once more.

Dr. Truscot: Now if you are going to sneeze, try to be clean about it. If you don't have Kleenex around, then I guess sneeze in your hands and then immediately wash them.

CA: Dr. Truscot is shown elsewhere.

Dr. Truscot: Seriously, keep your hands clean! We don't want to catch your germs, allergies or not!

CA: Banks is shown.

Banks: Of course I am going to keep my hands clean! I am a stupid orderly! (under his breath) Why can't I enter veterinary school yet?

Dr. Truscot: I know you are an orderly Banks and for your information, I wasn't referring to you. I was referring to anyone who doesn't keep their hands clean. (looks to his right)

CA: Camera pans out and Smitty is shown.

Smitty: What?

CA: Banks is shown again.

Banks: You know what, forget I said anything.

CA: Dr. Truscot is shown.

Dr. Truscot: Will do!

CA: Dr. Truscot walks off screen.

Banks: Whatever, just leave me to my lonesome self and despair.

Smitty: Wait, you want me to leave? I thought we were friends! (cries)

Banks: I wasn't talking to you Smitty...

Smitty: (continues to cry) You hurt my feelings! Achoo!

CA: Harvy is shown.

Harvy: Seriously, enough with the sneezing! Go clean your hands!

CA: Banks is shown.

Banks: I know, right? Seriously dude... I know from experience that cleaning your hands is a good thing...

Harvy: Shut up Banks, we aren't friends.

Banks: You know what! I am leaving, got to go fix something anyways...

CA: Banks walks off screen.

Harvy: Good ridden's.

Smitty: (continues to cry) Why do all the good people leave me to my emotions?

CA: Harvy looks down and puts his hand on his head.

CA: Dr. Truscot is shown on a rock.

Dr. Truscot: As for food allergies, they can be very dangerous. Sometimes a food allergy will only result in side effects such as measles while other times could be deadly. For example, Professor Sausage once had a food allergy. Can you guess what it was?

CA: Professor Sausage is shown.

Professor Sausgae: Cheese?

Dr. Truscot: No, you were allergic to Sausage, though I don't know why...

Professor Sausage: Not cheese?

Dr. Truscot: No.

Professor Sausage: I want my cheese... (begins crying)

Dr. Truscot: Why is everyone crying today over stupid things?

Professor Sausage: Do you have a problem with me and my cheese? (holds up knife and waves it in the air)

Dr. Truscot: Of course not! Uh, go bother Dr. Mister or something, run along!

Professor Sausage: Great idea!

CA: Professor Sausage runs off screen and after ten seconds you hear Dr. Mister screaming.

Dr. Mister: Please, no, no! (Professor Sausage is heard laughing far away)

CA: Dr. Truscot is shown.

Dr. Truscot: Did I just sentence Dr. Mister to his death? Eh, who cares. He will probably live, well most likely. Is it hot out or is that just me? Well, it is the beginning of Summer...

CA: Dr. Truscot is shown looking around.

Dr. Truscot: Hm, now where is it? I know I left it around here somewhere!

CA: Dr. Truscot searches his closet crazily.

Dr. Truscot: That will do perfectly!

CA: Dr. Truscot is shown walking onto the screen in a slomo and then shows off his new outfit.

Dr. Truscot: It is about time that I got a costume change and just in time for the Summer season!

CA: He is shown from a new perspective.

Dr. Truscot: See you next time on "The Health Chronicles!"

CA: LPR symbol appears.

CA: Dr. Dontrust is shown.

Dr. Dontrust: I didn't get my 48 hours of sleep... You lied to me Banks!

CA: Banks is shown.

Banks: Stop listening to me!

Dr. Dontrust: What you say?

CA: Banks starts to cry from his despair.

Dr. Truscot: What did I say about crying for no reason!

CA: End.

i want one of those big kitchen knifes.

What have I done?

lolololol.....

jon i also had some mtn dew today aswell

I will have to read it later, and I am sorry Jon, I will not be able to film that part on CA. First, I am extremely busy, and second, I forgot my camera. Sorry

What a coincidence, I currently have allergies. Yesterday, my ears were ichy and now my nose is.

I believe I already told you my suggestions for this video, Jon

Malvoleunomy wrote:I will have to read it later, and I am sorry Jon, I will not be able to film that part on CA. First, I am extremely busy, and second, I forgot my camera. Sorry

That's fine, we can do something else via green screen. How's CA?

Eh, its okay. Not as hot as I would like, but I guess we are going to a beach today. That should be nice.