Episode 28 Script (On Lunacy)

Dr. Truscot-The Health Chronicles (Episode 28) On Lunacy (Script)
Cast: (In=In episode/ Not=Not in episode)

Dr. Truscot/In
Dr. Dontrust/In
Dr. Mister/In
Professor Sausage/In
Smitty Johnson/In
Banks/In
Doctor V/In as Cameo
Harvy Reynol/In

CA: Series opening.

CA: Smitty is shown walking in slomo, holding Marsha. Then Harvy is shown running onto the screen as the duo run up to the house together.

CA: Harvy sits down on a chair followed by Smitty.

Smitty: Today's episode is on Lunacy! Uh, what does that mean again Harv?

Harvy: First of all, never call me that again if you wish to live (Smitty's face turns sad) and second of all, lunacy refers to people who have gone insane. Or in other words, crazy.

Smitty: Hey Harvy, why is it we are hosting today's episode anyways? I mean Dr. Truscot and Dr. Dontrust are perfectly fine. Wait, you didn't kidnap them again and pretend to be Doctor V again, right?

Harvy: Of course not! Dr. Truscot and Dr. Dontrust are simply on vacation and asked Dr. Mister to host today's episode.

CA: Dr. Truscot and Dr. Dontrust are shown relaxing on their own in two different shots.

Harvy: When Dr. Mister realized that he would have to work side by side with Professor Sausage again, he refused to show up. So then they asked you to host. I just forced you to allow me to host with you today.

Smitty: Oh, okay! So is everyone else helping us today?

Harvy: Looks like it.

Smitty: Even Marsha and Alfred the dog?

Harvy: Sadly, yes.

Smitty: This is the best day ever! (screams)

CA: Harvy walks down stairs and looks outside, eventually turning to the camera.

Harvy: So, today Smitty and I are going to do this as professional as possible with hopefully no interruptions!

CA: Behind Harvy (outside) you see Doctor V frolicking around, doing odd stuff for the camera.

CA: Harvy sits down, having a cup of tea.

Harvy: Oh right! We are on the camera. Let’s keep moving then!

CA: He gets up and walks away.

CA: Smitty is shown with Harvy outside by a road as a car drives by.

Harvy: Smitty, why did you want to see a car drive by again?

Smitty: I wanted Marsha to see traffic for the first time!

CA: Smitty is shown in the forest walking around with Harvy.

Smitty: Harvy, I think this is your cue to explain what lunacy is again. Because I don't understand it at all.

Harvy: Oh, right! If you are insane, then you probably wouldn't even understand what I am about to say. Mainly, by experiencing lunacy, you are exposed to meaningless behavior and do things you wouldn't do if you were sane. Make sense?

Smitty: I lost you at the first sentence. (smiles and hugs Marsha as Harvy stares at him)

CA: Harvy is shown in front of Dr. Truscot's house.

Harvy: If you are insane, you might be hearing voices.

CA: Smitty walks behind Harvy and is speaking to Marsha.

CA: Harvy is shown inside with Smitty.

Harvy: If you are insane, you might think everyone else is insane and repetitively attempt to bring them to asylums.

CA: Professor Sausage is shown holding a net.

Professor Sausage: Where are you Dr. Mister? It is time for your check up at the asylum! Hehehe.

CA: You see Dr. Mister looking through the window, still upset from the previous two episodes due to the lock out.

CA: Harvy is shown outside sitting down next to Smitty.

Harvy: If you are insane, you might even start to obsess over a certain situation.

Smitty: Don't you do that all the time?

Harvy: What do you mean?

Smitty: I mean, you are always obsessing about taking over this show!

Harvy: Oh, right... Scratch that last step.

CA: Harvy is shown inside sitting next to Smitty.

Harvy: I swear, I heard something Smitty!

Smitty: I didn't hear anything.

Fire Pig: Hahahahah!

Harvy: Fire Pig!

Smity: AHGAHGAHAG!

CA: Fire Pig is shown staring at them as they run away.

Fire Pig: I never get any fun these days. Or do I? Hahahahaha!

CA: Harvy and Smitty are shown outside, hiding behind trees. Meanwhile you see Fire Pig appearing in different locations, scaring them half to death.

CA: Harvy and Smitty are shown back inside.

Harvy: Okay! Now that is over with, I never want to see that pig again! Are there any other insane cast members other than Smitty and the stuffed animals?

CA: Professor Sausage is shown inside his home, as the song “I am Pretty” begins to play in the background.

CA: He bites into chocolate, smearing it over his face.

CA: He goes back and forth, drinking a glass of water and milk.

CA: He puts his hat on upside down.

CA: He hugs a palm tree.

CA: He spins around in a circle, 360 shot.

Note: C.J, walk around him in a circle while he does the above, similar as to what I did with Cody in episode 15, only Micah doesn’t go fast.

CA: Harvy sits still looking at the screen.

Harvy: What the heck is wrong with Truscot to want to work with that idiot? Then again, he works with Smitty, Dontrust, Banks, Blind Jeremy, Doctor V and so many others.

CA: Professor Sausage is shown sitting down on a couch, asleep.

CA: Behind Professor Sausage you see Dr. Mister looking at him evily through the window.

CA: Eventually you see the door knob turning open.

CA: You see Dr. Mister enter the room staring at Professor Sausage.

CA: Dr. Mister picks up a bat and aims it above Professor Sausage, asleep.

CA: Professor Sausage’s face is shown as he wakes up.

CA: He sees Dr. Mister aiming the bat above his head and screams.

Professor Sausage: AGHGAHGAHAGHAG!

Dr. Mister: AHGHAGHAGHAGHA!

CA: Professor Sausage is shown screaming separately.

CA: Dr. Mister is shown screaming separately.

CA: They are now both shown together screaming, but calming down.

Professor Sausage: So, you are back in ME house?

Dr. Mister: Yes! I am back in MY house!

Professor Sausage: Yours a house? I kicks you outz? Member?

Dr. Mister: Kicked me out? I own this house! I let you stay here after you became legally homeless.

Professor Sausage: That sounds bad.

Dr. Mister: Because it is bad you moron!

CA: Dr. Mister starts to act a little more crazy and furious.

Professor Sausage: So, what is up with la bat?

CA: Dr. Mister starts to push down the bat as the scene gets cut off.

CA: Harvy is shown, playing around with a stuffed animal dragon.

Harvy: Hey everybody! This is my puppet! George!

Harvy as George: Heeeeeyyyy!

Harvy: I know what you all are thinking, but no, I am not actually crazy. I just have fun when I can, since I am such a miserable person who has no social life, work life or virtual life. Here is a fun fact! I have one friend on Facebook! Guess who it is?

Harvy as George: Smitty?

Harvy: You got it buddy! (pauses and looks over at George the dragon) Wait a second George! Do you have a Facebook? I really could use some more friends on there.

CA: George looks over at Harvy.

CA: Dr. Dontrust is shown, in his vacation clothes, outside working on a project from the back.

CA: You see him grabbing random stuff as he builds his secret project.

Dr. Dontrust: Just a little more time and it will be completed! (laughs hysterically)

CA: Harvy walks down stairs and sits down on the couch.

CA: He is shown sitting down on the couch. He turns his face and sees Marsha staring at him and screams.

Harvy: What the heck is that thing doing there for?

CA: Marsha stares deeply into Harvy’s eyes.

CA: Harvy stares deeply into Marsha’s eyes.

Harvy: Okay, time for plan “Get Rid of Marsha” to come into action!

CA: He stands up and grabs Marsha by the neck.

CA: He is shown with Marsha out on the steps.

Harvy: Stupid stuffed animal! It is freaking me out! Now where can I hide this blasted thing? Hmmm...

CA: Harvy is shown outside again, attempting to hide Marsha in numerous locations.

CA: He tries to throw her up a tree and the house.

CA: He tries to whack her with a stick.

CA: He kicks her.

CA: He pushes her under a tire of a car and revs the car up.

CA: He stomps on her in frustration.

Harvy: Alone at last! Anyways, you might even experience anger for no reason, forgot to mention that earlier though.

CA: A club hits Harvy on the head.

Smitty: What did you do with Marsha?

CA: You see Harvy fall to the ground.

Note: Film that shot. For those who don’t know, I filmed all remaining Smitty parts in June. I forgot to film myself as Harvy fall over however.

CA: Smitty starts whacking Harvy on the head some more.

CA: Banks is shown playing solitaire with cards.

Banks: I’m not insane either. I am just a lonely depressed person with no real purpose in life. No money, no girlfriend, no real friends, no dreams, I got nothing… (sighs) All I need is an ace to finish that line… (looks around) Oh wait, I forgot the eight. (sighs again)

CA: Harvy is shown in front of a refrigerator getting an ice pack for his head.

Harvy: There are more things that could happen to you if you are insane, but for my own health, I decided against explaining anymore. Mainly because the rest of the cast would probably kill me if I did... How does Dr. Truscot do this all the time anyways? Maybe I shouldn't want to take over this show anymore...

CA: Dr. Dontrust is shown again, this time from the front, only you can’t tell what he is working on still.

Dr. Dontrust: Yes! Yes! My masterpiece is coming along greatly! Just a little more elbow grease….

CA: Harvy walks through a forest on his way to Dr. Truscot's summer office.

CA: Harvy exits the forest and sees Blind Jeremy walking by him doing random stuff on the screen.

Harvy: Who in the world was that?

CA: Harvy looks down a road and sees Blind Jeremy walking down a road, having trouble walking.

CA: Harvy walks away.

CA: Blind Jeremy is shown continuing down the road, walking into a tree.

CA: Dr. Truscot sees him walking in and puts down his newspaper.

Harvy: Wait, before you speak, let me speak first!

CA: Dr. Truscot nods.

Harvy: I have been a jerk the entire time I have known you. I was always jealous that you got a show and I didn’t. When I realized Doctor V was away for a time being, I took over his role in the show and tied you and Dontrust up because only you two knew Doctor V well enough to figure out that I was a fake. It was my chance to practice acting which has always been my one dream. I’m not perfect, no one is! I realize now though how wrong I was and wanted to apologize in person. I won’t blame you if you make me leave right away.

CA: Dr. Truscot just stares at him.

Harvy: Right, I will go now then.

CA: Harvy gets up and starts to leave.

Dr. Truscot: Harvy!

CA: Harvy turns around.

Dr. Truscot: Everyone deserves a second chance! How would you like to take over as our therapist for the show. You have potential. I have seen you helping Smitty before. Obviously you didn’t go to school for it, but you can always practice and give suggestions.

Harvy: Are you serious, you will give me a job?

Dr. Truscot: As long as you don’t mind that isn’t a paid job, then yes.

Harvy: I accept! Thank you Truscot! I mean Sir.

Dr. Truscot: Call me Henry.

Harvy: Henry then.

Dr. Truscot: Shake on it!

Harvy: Shake on it!

CA: They shake on it, only seeing their hands.

CA: Smitty is shown petting Alfred's head as Harvy sits down next to him.

Smitty: What happened with you and Truscot?

Harvy: We finally see eye to eye with each other Smitty. For better or for worse, I am here to stay. I am done trying to take over the show. I learned my lesson.

Smitty: So does this mean we can go hang out and have tacos together?

Harvy: You know what, yeah, let's go get those tacos!

CA: The two leave behind the house.

CA: You see Harvy and Smitty leaving together at the end of the driveway.

CA: Doctor V is shown chasing them down the road.

Doctor V: Impostor!

CA: Series end.

CA: A few rooms are shown from Dr. Dontrust’s home.

CA: You see him outside working on his project.

Dr. Dontrust: Almost done… almost done…

CA: End.